Video Review Please Review My Short Film

[LibertyLinks]

User name: LibertyLinks
Title of thread: Please Review My Short Film
Self review: This is a short film on self defense. I basically like what I have overall, but am wanting advice and suggestions on how something like this can be improved. Thumbnail, overall message, length. If you were totally against guns would this get you to rethink your position?
Channel review or Video review? Video review

Link to Video:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqY_f33R5fM

Link to other review post: https://community.tubebuddy.com/index.php?threads/55539/#post-172969

 

[Half Ninja Giant]

If you've never seen me comment on other peoples posts, HI I'm HNG and I'm very direct so no hard feelings!

The title screen could be the word "Nightmare" inlayed within the scene of the forest perhaps within the trees or in the background of the forest in big bold letters, the best thing I can think of as a comparison is Evil Dead Rise title, it's so eye catching, there's a lot of tutorials online for it.

The forest shot is great! It's too long, unfortunately in this day and age we all have the attention span of a goldfish thanks to shorts and tiktok! Would keep scenes like this to around 10-15seconds max! Likewise for when she's getting out of bed! (although i can relate)

Your thumbnails aren't eye catching enough to instantly let me know this is a short film.

You can now use AI voiceovers to read text out loud and customise the voice? It's kinda more engaging than throwing text on the screen (besides the title screen ofc)

This doesn't make me wanna buy a gun? Or self defense it just kinda jumped from a nightmare to a scenario where she was already attacked irl? which was an abrupt change in the story, there's no flow or drama or suspense.

This is kinda the visual equivalent of saying

"a man walked his dog"

"The man arrived home after being attacked by mel gibson"

"He then bought a gun"

It kinda skipped the whole encounter, and message? If you record these clips then I would include some kind of encounter with suspense.

For me it's missing the mark for the message and story!

Again this is just my own thoughts! Hopefully I have helped somewhat!

 

[LibertyLinks]

This is kinda the visual equivalent of saying

"a man walked his dog"

"The man arrived home after being attacked by mel gibson"

"He then bought a gun"

I had to laugh at that. You're right. There are dozens of ways I think I can improve my videos once I publish them. Probably the reason I return to the topics so often. Just based one what people are saying here, I'm trying to think about redoing it.

 

[Half Ninja Giant]

I mean it's good you're taking criticism it's the best way to learn because it's hard to do on your own!

Only other way would be to check out other short story channels for inspiration in terms of the content that's used to drive the story, pace, flow etc!

 

[LibertyLinks]

I've found a good service that does AI voice overs that I'm thinking about applying to this project redo.

 

[Gigolo45]

Very creative with limited tools, would love to know what youΓÇÖve used and the process youΓÇÖve gone about to make it. Can see great things from you with improved production and a dedicated script writer

 

[DiceandAutism]

Hello! So I think this is like a cool idea! I like the idea for doing messages for like self defense and everything. But I feel like there is some stuff that could make it even better.

For one. I like the opening it was tense and gave off an eerie vibe. I like the creative use of stock footage to get the point across for stuff and everything.

Two. I think some voice over work could help elevate it. I know some people were saying that you could use AI but please don't. There's is plenty of VO artist out there that can work with you and talk a good budget with them. I think having someone speak these words instead of a text could give the needed tension and we can feel like "Yeah I don't feel safe I need a weapon to protect myself."

Three. Music. So music can help the audience feel things. There was a lot of silence in this peace and I think if you started with a tense music when the person wakes up then slowly transition to a cheery music to show off that the person feels safer it would help navigate the audience how to feel

Hope that helps!