Hey Calif-
What I usually do to test my thumbnails is to reduce them down to the actual size. I check to see if I can read the text and understand the composition. Typically, in a composition, you want to use the power of 3: Three elements that are different and complement each other.
A strong graphic
Text header
Contrasting background
For your specific comp, try
-removing one of the hands (two too many hands -my eye doesn't know which one is important)
-removing the black fuzzy frame (keep your comp crisp and bright)
-remove the stop words from your title (in, from, on, to...)
Take a look at some of these examples to get some ideas.
HTH.