Pretty Hermit Tarot

Warning: This is long, raw, and personal

I've been through a lot of emotional pain and trauma, but art therapy is the main thing that kept me hanging on. I got rid of all of my "friends" because none of them were supportive, ambitious, or even motivated to actually spend time with me. They were all fake flakes who set me up to ruin my image....I'm not going into detail about how. I might later on in a story time video down the line if people are curious enough...Anyways, I was always suffering through depression alone. One day, I was in the fetal position just blankly staring into space and crying. Then I heard my own soul say "I don't wanna drown anymore!" I heard another gentle voice that said: "you are not worthless. you have a gift that can help others." At the time, I didn't know what it was so I decided to hang on. To make matters worse, I was dealing with a vicious cycle of experiencing a major heartbreak (a complicated high school sweetheart situation) for years. Eventually, I decided that suffering alone and being obsessed with my ex was just not my style....I developed a new hobby (tarot cards). I was scared at first, but doing my own tarot and oracle readings have made me realize how resilient, gifted, and motivated that I really am. My parents don't help or support me with my channel. All I have is myself, my faith (god, the angels, and my ancestors/spirit guides), and hope. I know YouTube won't guarantee instant fame, but I just wanted to take a chance at putting myself out there since I'm horribly shy in person. I just want to be liked for ME and not what I represent. I have a mother who always pressures me to be someone else as if I'm not good enough to be myself, so I don't want to have to be someone else to get a bunch of views. What you see is what you get. I am who I am.